The Oracle

This is yours truly's claim at being one. Just posting a random chat with a dear friend of mine, where I made a strong case for it. Bullshitting apart, I think the chat is funny enough to make its way here. I hope you would enjoy reading this one:

12:23 PM rahul*: wats up mite
12:27 PM mite tell mite wat is up
1:26 PM me: sorry mite been busy all morning and then was off for lunch sorry to keep you waiting for a reply i hope thats ok mite is it ok mite?
1:27 PM u there mite?
respond mite
1:28 PM
rahul: hmmmm ok no problem
1:38 PM rahul: Suna de kuch Navee taazi
me: kuch khaas hai nahin mere paas sunane ke liye
do you have any specific questions that you want to ask?
1:43 PM rahul: Nopes
1:44 PM me: too bad veere
1:45 PM rahul: I am bored
Hv wrk
But nt the will to do it
Suggest sthg$
1:46 PM me: work...
rahul: Will Nahin hai
Kya karoon
me: mummy ko bol chai bana dein
1:47 PM rahul: Done
Drank
me: this problem is getting more and more complex as we explore it more
damn...
rahul: I like tht
Carry on
rahul: Give ur perspective
me: so my perspective on the issue of lack or absence of will is that you need to see the bigger picture
and the bigger picture really is that the amount of money in your bank account when you die is a multiple of the amount of extra work that you did in your life that you shouldn't have
the objective should be that you should have none when you die...
there are two ways of achieving this...
1) do only as much as you need to keep the job
1:51 PM rahul: This shit is interesting
Carry on
1:52 PM me: 2) estimate the extra amount of money that you could have in your bank when you die...calculate the monthly installments of this future value...and start transferring this monthly amount to your friend's accounts starting now
you always have a choice of choosing between the two if we assume rationality on your behalf, which we could we would of course choose option 1 for you
1:53 PM given that...the question that we are really trying to answer here is not if you have the will to finish the work or not...
but if you really need to do the work at hand or not...
to keep your job
rahul: Wow
I don't!!!!
me: then you have your answer
rahul: I can easily laze arnd this evening n still be fine
Yohoooo!!!
I love u gullu
me: there is a caveat realted to this though
rahul: Suddenyl
me: ha ha ha
before you start lazing around...
just give a thought to what is absolute latest by which you need to finish this work before you hit the point where you would lose your job for not finishing it this would help you estimate the minimum and maximum amount of time that you could laze around without worrying about anything else
1:56 PM the reason this question is critical is to make sure you are able to maximize the utility that you get from lazing around
let me know if you would need my help for solving that problem
rahul: Wow
me: ha ha this conversation can go on my blog
rahul: I can easily not do anything the entire evening today
me: whatsay?
rahul: Even tom morning
Btw
This is a pretty cool absurd conversation
1:58 PM I am overwhelmed with the quality Of ur bullshitting And I am also feeling energized To laze arnd
Oxymoron?
Energized to laze arnd?
me: ha ha ha ha
certainly...
and one of the best ones I have heard in a long
2:08 PM me: so do you think i should put this on my blog?
i think i should
rahul: Yes
me: good
will do
2:11 PM rahul: Gud stuff
The reassurance helped me
I'll enjoy my eve without any guilt now
me: you know where to come to ask any questions about life or anything about it that are bothering you
I am the oracle ....

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Ha ha ha....bulshitting that I am proud of....hope you enjoyed it...

-j

* Rahul, more popularly known as Rathi, is a dear friend of mine for I don't remember how many years now. For those of you know him, you would agree that there is no worse di*@head than him. For those who don't, I have put a link at the end to his facebook profile if you still want to get to know him. He is looking to get married soon too. In case you know a nice, homely and not so well educated Marwari Maheshwari girl, then please let me know and I shall take forward the rishta with his mom....ladhki raj karegi...

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=media#!/profile.php?id=628486711&ref=ts

Invictus

Its been just a little while since my last post and I am back at it again. This is a bit unusual for me of late as I generally write only when I feel like. Lazy and unimaginative as I am, the 'feel like' feeling has to make a lot of effort to overpower me and force me to write. Actually, that's bullshit - I write almost every month here and most of it is gibberish, just that the first three sentences seemed to be flowing well.

Anyhow, I am writing this one hoping for two things. That:

1) this would be short

2) this would be sensible

...and I have a strong feeling that I might fail miserably on both counts.

I was just reading 'Invictus' by William Ernest Henley. For those of you who haven't read it as yet, here it is:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

I am quite sure that given the kind of intellectually supercharged audience that my blog attracts, all of you who are reading this post, would have already read this poem and thought through it. I have read the whole poem quite a few times in my life and a significant proportion of the total number of times happened just before I started writing this post.

I really believe that this poem is outrageously amazing, despite the fact that I am obviously quite unintelligent and shallow to understand it any deeper than what it sounds. I wouldn't talk about the poem itself and what it means to me or according to me. But here is a serious suggestion - read it out aloud...really really loud...as if you are reciting it to impress for your life...as if you are acting it out on stage to please for your life...you know what I mean.

I just feel that this poem is so strong that while you read it out aloud, it makes you real. It shouts back at you aloud, telling you what you really want and how bad you want it. I don't know and can't be sure if it would work for you, it certainly didn't work for me the way I described it. Not because what I said above is bullshit but because I was so obsessed by the possibility of writing about it, that I missed the moment :-)

PS: The last two lines of this poem are certainly the strongest set of words that I have ever read or heard in my life. If you disagree or have any other suggestions, do leave a comment.