The Oracle

This is yours truly's claim at being one. Just posting a random chat with a dear friend of mine, where I made a strong case for it. Bullshitting apart, I think the chat is funny enough to make its way here. I hope you would enjoy reading this one:

12:23 PM rahul*: wats up mite
12:27 PM mite tell mite wat is up
1:26 PM me: sorry mite been busy all morning and then was off for lunch sorry to keep you waiting for a reply i hope thats ok mite is it ok mite?
1:27 PM u there mite?
respond mite
1:28 PM
rahul: hmmmm ok no problem
1:38 PM rahul: Suna de kuch Navee taazi
me: kuch khaas hai nahin mere paas sunane ke liye
do you have any specific questions that you want to ask?
1:43 PM rahul: Nopes
1:44 PM me: too bad veere
1:45 PM rahul: I am bored
Hv wrk
But nt the will to do it
Suggest sthg$
1:46 PM me: work...
rahul: Will Nahin hai
Kya karoon
me: mummy ko bol chai bana dein
1:47 PM rahul: Done
Drank
me: this problem is getting more and more complex as we explore it more
damn...
rahul: I like tht
Carry on
rahul: Give ur perspective
me: so my perspective on the issue of lack or absence of will is that you need to see the bigger picture
and the bigger picture really is that the amount of money in your bank account when you die is a multiple of the amount of extra work that you did in your life that you shouldn't have
the objective should be that you should have none when you die...
there are two ways of achieving this...
1) do only as much as you need to keep the job
1:51 PM rahul: This shit is interesting
Carry on
1:52 PM me: 2) estimate the extra amount of money that you could have in your bank when you die...calculate the monthly installments of this future value...and start transferring this monthly amount to your friend's accounts starting now
you always have a choice of choosing between the two if we assume rationality on your behalf, which we could we would of course choose option 1 for you
1:53 PM given that...the question that we are really trying to answer here is not if you have the will to finish the work or not...
but if you really need to do the work at hand or not...
to keep your job
rahul: Wow
I don't!!!!
me: then you have your answer
rahul: I can easily laze arnd this evening n still be fine
Yohoooo!!!
I love u gullu
me: there is a caveat realted to this though
rahul: Suddenyl
me: ha ha ha
before you start lazing around...
just give a thought to what is absolute latest by which you need to finish this work before you hit the point where you would lose your job for not finishing it this would help you estimate the minimum and maximum amount of time that you could laze around without worrying about anything else
1:56 PM the reason this question is critical is to make sure you are able to maximize the utility that you get from lazing around
let me know if you would need my help for solving that problem
rahul: Wow
me: ha ha this conversation can go on my blog
rahul: I can easily not do anything the entire evening today
me: whatsay?
rahul: Even tom morning
Btw
This is a pretty cool absurd conversation
1:58 PM I am overwhelmed with the quality Of ur bullshitting And I am also feeling energized To laze arnd
Oxymoron?
Energized to laze arnd?
me: ha ha ha ha
certainly...
and one of the best ones I have heard in a long
2:08 PM me: so do you think i should put this on my blog?
i think i should
rahul: Yes
me: good
will do
2:11 PM rahul: Gud stuff
The reassurance helped me
I'll enjoy my eve without any guilt now
me: you know where to come to ask any questions about life or anything about it that are bothering you
I am the oracle ....

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Ha ha ha....bulshitting that I am proud of....hope you enjoyed it...

-j

* Rahul, more popularly known as Rathi, is a dear friend of mine for I don't remember how many years now. For those of you know him, you would agree that there is no worse di*@head than him. For those who don't, I have put a link at the end to his facebook profile if you still want to get to know him. He is looking to get married soon too. In case you know a nice, homely and not so well educated Marwari Maheshwari girl, then please let me know and I shall take forward the rishta with his mom....ladhki raj karegi...

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